Jackson Hot Air Balloon Classic: a Classic Acklen Park Shit Show

This will be brief because I'm on my phone at the airport today. But I just noticed that ANOTHER Acklen Park Production has devolved into a shit show failure of epic proportions.  Just like the Clarksville Taco shit show from last week, ticket holders at the Jackson Hot Air Classic found out the event was cancelled at …

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The Clarksville Taco & Tequila Fest: Another Acklen Park Shit Show

Loyal readers of my esteemed lifestyle blog will no doubt remember the scandal that erupted a few weeks ago at the Chattanooga Taco & Tequila Festival.  Lines were long, tacos were scarce, and many trusting citizens of the Scenic City felt like they had been scammed by some fast talking snake-oil salesmen from Nashville's Acklen …

Join Me in Supporting Chattanooga’s War on Beggars

The City Council recently took action to eradicate poverty from Chattanooga's streets by making it easier to jail citizens who are shameless enough to beg for my change.  The new ordinance, which criminalizes a broad range of behavior classified as "aggressive panhandling," drew the ire of Community Advocates.  They accused lawmakers of attempting to punish people for …

STIR’s Web Copy is as Painstakingly Crafted as the Artisanal Ice it Describes

STIR is known for many things.  They offer Chattanooga's finest selection of fresh oysters and seafood, as well as a truly dazzling array of specialty craft cocktails.  In addition to bright colors and colorful names, these buzz-worthy beverages also boast their own hand-crafted artisanal ice cubes for the most decadent sipping experience in Chattanooga! But …

If You Let Your Kids Wear Crocs, I’m Embarrassed for Both of You!

I love my SouthSide neighbors.  Really, I do.  They've created a Southern micro-economy that can support two charcuterie, a botox clinic, and countless restaurants serving $20 hamburgers.  But every so often, my neighbors engage in behavior that reminds me I'm no longer in Brooklyn or Seattle.  These transgressions can range from the occasional gender-blivious pronoun …

It’s Been Three Days Since My Dog Pooped on the Sidewalk, and the City Still Hasn’t Cleaned it Up!

There's so much to love about Chattanooga.  From the gluten-free scones at Frothy Monkey to the hand-chiseled ice at STIR to the seasonal kale salads at Main Street Meats, this city literally has something for everyone.  But every so often I'm reminded that unlike my prior hometowns of Brooklyn or Seattle, Chattanooga is still a …

Despite Nooga.com’s Recommendation, I Hated Taco Bell’s New Beefy Crunch Burrito

One of my favorite recurring features on Nooga.com, Chattanooga's digital newspaper of record, is Date Night Dining.  Each week, lifestyle blogger Sean Phipps and a plutonic companion visit a local restaurant to share scrumptious meals and stimulating conversation.  This week, Sean visited his local Taco Bell alone to sample a menu item the company is …

My EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW With The Man Responsible For #TacoGate

What an exciting week its been in the world of SouthSide lifestyle blogging.  As loyal readers will recall, the Internet lit up Saturday afternoon as angry attendees of the Chattanooga Taco & Tequila Festival bombarded Facebook with angry messages about long lines, short supplies, and the general feeling that they'd been scammed.  My persistent journalistic …

All Traffic On Market Street Should Stop When I Leave the Sports Barn

We all know jaywalking is a dangerous and unnecessary public nuisance that jeopardizes pedestrians and motorists alike.  That's why it's against the law.  But we don't have to look too far back in history to find examples of laws that were bent or even broken in pursuit of a greater justice.  Such was the case …